A North West View

So today was not a good day at all, my sleep has been screwy for a little while now because work has been bouncing me all over the place, from opening to closing and back again.  Well last night I forgot on of my medications, which was not good.  I could not get to sleep, at like 2:30 I finally took a couple of ibuprofen PM's and finally got to sleep around 3:30 and was fitfully away around 5:00 and fully awake by 6:00 so I only got about 3 hours of sleep.  Which did me in, I started my day with anxiety through the roof.  I really should have just called into work, but I did not want to because I did not want to lose the hours and risk losing insurance coverage for the up coming month. So I went to work, and that did not turn out well at all as my anxiety did not go away and only got worse, and then on top of that I went from feeling I could do it and that things would turn out OK in the end, to starting to be really down and depressed, which only made things worse....

So it has been a while since I have last posted, things have been very hectic on my side of the screen. I have been helping with some home improvement projects, I helped my dad and brother put a deck in our old wood shed, to put a new BBQ in to help keep it out of the rain.  Then we are in the middle of putting new decking and railings on the existing deck (we kept the old framing but did some beefing up) I have also been busy with friend.  I had someone that I went on a few dates with, who seemed like a great guy.  However that ended abruptly, as 3 days after our second date (a candle lit watching of a move at his house) I tried to set up a third date, and sometime in those 3 days he had entered into an exclusive relationship with some one else.  It was something that he had neglected to tell me until I tried to set up a up the third date, yet he was willing to talk to me via text every day up until then.  He gave me the line that I was a great guy and som...

The hypocrisy never seems to stop with those that are on the religious right, with the latest example of Josh Dugger having to step down from his position at the hate group Family Research Council after it came out that he has molested several young girls, including some of his sisters.  All of which the Dugger family worked to cover up.  Yet they campaigned against gay marriage and trans rights Michelle Dugger going so far as to say trans people are a threat to children, She even had a crew member fired from the show back in 2008 for being gay "because he was a threat to her kids" souly because of his sexuality.  As if that is not bad enough Mick Huckabee has said that it is an attempt by the media to bring the family down and that the media and those that want them removed from TV (and punished for) over what they have done and been a party to are just wrong and mean spirited,  It is utterly mind blowing the hypocrisy

So I have spent the last 2 days packing up everything in my room (the sized of a good sized studio apartment) as well as packing out all the stuff stored in a spare bedroom up stairs, to allow my brother and his Fiance to move into my room this coming long weekend.  It has been one heck of a battle as I had a lot of stuff to move or which 90% of all my stuff is going to wind up going into storage, including all my nick nacks which includes all the things (not many) that I got after my grandparents (on dads side) passed away years ago.  The only thing of theirs that is going to be able to make it into my new room is a piece of artwork. Which is something that has gotten me down at the moment. It did force me to sort through my stuff and get read of things that I did not need, (or want enough to bother packing and putting in storage)

So I have been a bad blogger and fallen off the face of the earth for a while, in part just because of the holidays, but also because I just don't seem to manage my time well enough to allow myself to sit down and with myself, to just be and to collect my thoughts, let alone to sit down and write.   Which is something that I really want to start to work on, as I need to try and carve out time to do just that, instead of incessantly distracting myself from the time I get up until the time that I go to bed. I think that this is something that I want to try to focus on doing this year (I know that it is pretty late to be coming up with a New Years resolution, but when it comes to that thing who says you have to be on time)

So im thinking of buying a new car, which happens to be totally impractical, a Mini roadster convertible. 2 door 2 seat, huge trunk especially for a convertible.  But i wounder if it is too gay, dose it look cool or like something that should be driven in a pride parade with those inside wraped in rainbow flages and feather boas.

Recently I lost a friend on Facebook, not the most spectacular loss because when we did not agree it was always my fault and his boyfriend played the attempt to belittle me game, all over attempting to point out to him that one of his post was not only a blatant insult to the spuriousness of assault against women but also a blatant example of male entitlement.