A North West View

With all that is going on in Washington state with the marriage equality bill, and the campaign that is already is underway to overturn it, it is hard not to get sucked up into the politics and debate that is swirling around it, even more so when your gay and thus the subject of said debate; and this is where I find my self sucked into the storm.  Maybe for some getting sucked into that storm is something that has no affect on them, not even in those quite moments late at night, early in the morning or those stolen moments during the day when all you have to occupy yourself with our your thoughts,  but for me that is not true, allowing my self to be sucked in dose have an affect on me, some good some bad and some just not quite ether, however I also believe however that you can't truly live if you just stand outside the fire.

I really do wish that I did not have to deal with my mind or my emotions, that I could just simply switch them off, and make them go away. I don't want to deal with them I don't want to think about them I most definitely don't want to record them and then relive them at any point in the future let alone have some one else drag me threw them again. I think I would settle with being drugged out of my mind, if I could still live with the side effects and never have to deal with the torture chamber that can be my mind and my emotions. To not have to deal with no one else understanding what is going on with me, to not understand that what they think is the problem is not. Yet at the same time not be able to deal with even thinking about let alone actually telling them what the real issues are, while being unable unwilling afraid to do that, then having to be confronted by the demons that are my fears, to then have to try to shake those off again, and again, and again. To have...

For today's post I'm going to share some songs that I really like, that also fit really well as the music track to my life right now. The first song is Lucky In Love by Sherrie Austin It quite obviously fits as the musical track to my love life, which has been anything but well lucky. The next songs are actually quite conflicting in their emotions but they are ones that show a clear picture of how I am emotionally.