A North West View

So today I would like to talk about another personal topic, so please bare with me if I seem to get a little off track, as I will try to keep things as directed as possible.  So today I would like to talk about and try to explore why I spend so much time feeling so ill at ease in my own skin, why I worry I'm to gay and not my self, yet not knowing who that "self" that I'm worried I'm not being is.  I find my self doubting and uncomfortable with many of my "new" interest, and the gay ways that I will catch my self behaving, whether its some sort of remark, or just "way" of doing something, or just what I feel my general vibe is, I find it on worrying, and discomforting, I fear/worry that I have lost/ am not showing my self that was there before the gay, yet its a self that I really can't identify.  It is like the "self" that I feel that I am losing is not actually a real one but the problem is that I have spent so much time...