A North West View

What is control and what dose it mean to be in control?  Is control keeping people even your own family and friends at arms length, not letting them see you, or know fully what is ever going on with you, only giving them rear glimpses control?  Is burying your emotions as deep as you can so that those around you can't ever see what they truly are control?  Is lying to others and telling half truths control?  Is not taking or doing anything that can control your mood even medications, control?  Or are all of these things really signs of being out of control and just desperate grasps at some level of control?  I don't know the answer to these questions because I do keep my friends and family at, at least an arms length so that they don't truly see me, who I am and what I am going threw.  I bury my emotions so deeply most of the time that really it is hard for people to know truly what I am feeling, I lie and tell half truths to those around me.  This blog is one of the only p