A North West View

So I'm being faced with the fact and starting to be forced with trying to truly change the fact that in my life and my view of my self I have many many ideas and ideals about how I should be that totally conflict with the reality of what I am how I am, and what actually makes me happy.  One of the biggest ones that also seems to be particularly hard to deal with is my negative views of my self when it comes to my sexuality, the way that I can and my natural manorisms. It is something that almost totally conflicts and is something that seems to be so deeply ingrained and no matter how much when it is looked at in a logical way somehow the assumptions and unattainable ideals still seem so right and like to see things other wise is some how simply just wrong. Then add to the fact that I don't understand why I feel this way and see things in this way which should not matter when it comes to the fact that t...

Like the title says I am currently very stressed worried and anxious, to the extreme and for a number of compounding reasons, in which timing is not the best at all.  First off I am not a great waiter and I tend to get inpatient and then anxious worried and panicky when I have to wait, especially when I am left waiting with out much if any control and nothing I can do to make things necessarily come out the way that I want them to come out.