So it has been a while since I have last posted, things have been very hectic on my side of the screen. I have been helping with some home improvement projects, I helped my dad and brother put a deck in our old wood shed, to put a new BBQ in to help keep it out of the rain. Then we are in the middle of putting new decking and railings on the existing deck (we kept the old framing but did some beefing up) I have also been busy with friend. I had someone that I went on a few dates with, who seemed like a great guy. However that ended abruptly, as 3 days after our second date (a candle lit watching of a move at his house) I tried to set up a third date, and sometime in those 3 days he had entered into an exclusive relationship with some one else. It was something that he had neglected to tell me until I tried to set up a up the third date, yet he was willing to talk to me via text every day up until then. He gave me the line that I was a great guy and someone would be very lucky to get me, and that he wanted to be friends. Being friends was not something that I was interested in as honestly I felt like I had been lead on, and that I was the second choice, the back up plan. So I deleted him from my phone and have not contacted him since. (nor has he contacted me) Part of the reason that I was upset was due to the fact that I had become emotionally invested enough that I was ready to tell him that I was bipolar, which is not something that I do willy nilly, as not many people in my life know that about me, that and I did not want him to feel like I had lead him on when I finally did tell him and give him a chance to get out before things got to far. I know I was sort of more mad at myself for letting myself get that invested.
In other news my doctor changed on of my medications to one to help we lose some weight as my old one had allowed me to balloon up over the last few years. I had been a lose size 38 waist when I was first diagnosed and put on the medication combination that I was on, and I have/had ballooned up to a tight in some pants size 44 with a weight of 260 pounds, which I was not particularly happy about. which was part of the reason for the new med, as the old one had quite a weight gain side effect, in part because it makes your appetite grow and make it harder for you to feel full. The new medication has helped with that along with some lifestyle changes. It has allowed me to eat smaller portion sizes and still feel full which is a very big help. I have also been working on making better choices in what I eat and to eat healthier too, and mom has been a help with that as she is cooking healthier things out of her healthy eating cook books. I have also been working on getting more exercise into my daily routine. I have set a goal of taking 16,000 steps a day which I usually beat on my work days, but on those days I try to use ether the exercise bike for 30 minutes of more if I can, or to do one of my exercise tapes when I get home, I know some people will make fun, but they are some of Richard Simmons work out tapes. I personally like them because even though they are a work out they make it fun, as you do things to the music. I also like that they are encouraging, instead of yelling at you or bossing you around, and since I like them I stick to them. They where ones that I used to do almost daily the last time I lost a bunch of weight. The great thing is so far it has been working I have lost 15 lbs since the 21st of last month! I an hoping to lose quite a bit more, my current goal is to get back down to being a size 38, I would love to get down to a 34 or 32, but we will see, I would like to get down to that, because even at a size 38 I was a little on the chubby side, and I like to be thinner and leaner. I know that I will take a while, but I believe that I can do it and I think that sometimes that is that hardest part of all is believing in your ability to do it, I think that being able to do that definitely helps with sticking to it, and turning the changes that you are making into part of your normal lifestyle instead of simply a diet. In part because diets are not successful long term as they tend to restrict lots of things you like out of your life and eventually you get tired of it and go back to your old ways and gain the weight back. My big hope is that I get back closer to my old, old ways that I had when I was thinner, but make those ways even better. I believe that I can stick with this as it is something that is quickly becoming my new normal and I don't feel like I am being deprived of anything.
I am also starting to adjust to the new living situation, although I still don't have a TV even though I will not have cable it would be nice to be able to put in a movie, or my dvd's of some of the different TV shows that I have. especially on dads days off when he puts on shows that I don't like or am not interested in. It is also a little more challenging to do a work out tape as most days I do have to share the TV in the living room not just because I don't have one but also because it is the only place now that has enough space for me to do the exercises in, unlike before when I had my room and I had plenty of space to do them in where I did not have to share. Not only that I did not have to worry about disturbing any one like I do now, with my brother and his fiance living in my old room, which is right bellow the living room. So it dose make it into a challenge, but I know at some point I am going to have to say that others are just going to have to live with it and that my efforts to lose weight, get fit and healthier myself are more important then just their convenience. It is a challenge to get through my head but I can't live my life for the convenience of others, and this is part of that.
I feel very optimistic about this part of my life, much more then I have in quite a long time. As it seems like I have control of something in my life that I had felt was out of control of, and that I would never truly get back control of. It is especially nice considering how out of control I feel when it comes to work, where it increasingly seems that I bust my ass and do the absolutely best job that I can do, Yet even though I do that my reward seems to be getting kicked in the head and getting less hours, and being bounced around all over the place in my schedule, as well as getting given some of the more junkie jobs that other people don't like to do. That I don't like to do ether, I just don't make a big fuss about it. So that makes it all that much nice to feel like I have control over some aspect of my life. Not only that but I am feeling better physically now that I am losing some weight and eating better! I really am hoping to have made some good progress by the time that the annual health screening for insurance comes back around at work. I would really like to do better on it then I did last year, even though I know that they are going to be tightening up the goals again this year (if I had been screened by a doctor last year I would have done good on most of the criteria as I would have meet what they would like to see but works standers are higher then that) I would love to again get more intensive money in my account, so that I have to pay less out of pocket on the way to meeting my deductible.Which would be great besides the fact that it would mean that I am in a better state health wise. I am hope to be able to share the ride with you all, and hopefully that will keep me blogging more frequently.
Until next time dear readers.
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