I like to think that any one would be tempted throw caution to the wind to live a natural high that it would seem so many look to drugs to find. It feels so good that it is nearly impossible to put into worlds to describe to someone that dose not know it already. It is so tempting to tap into that to accomplish the goals that I want, like losing weight, which is so much easier when you have boundless amounts of energy and almost no apatite to the point that you often forget to eat, dose make it worlds easier to melt the pounds off, rather then getting threw with a day of work and feeling totally spent mentally and physically. When trying to deal with real issues in ones life it is so much more tempting to want to be in a state where you feel on top of the world and unstoppable like the world is your oyster, where you have no problems at all. It is tempting to slip out of your life and the issues that come with it into a place where others accuse you of and sometimes think that you are on drugs because of how good you feel and the amazing ways in which it makes your mind work. Yet there is a dark side to it all a side that can be destructive as those very same frames of mind can cause one to make very questionable and down right poor decisions, decisions that wreck havoc long after the good times have come to an end. The there is the
It is to live with that temptation is part of my life now, now that I am balanced yet know that right now if I where to stop taking my medication I could be in that wounder full land that are my highs. It is that temptation that I have to resist, yet it also leads me to not want to accept the down sides of my medications if I can help it because those downsides only make the temptation that much more appealing. It is something that not many seem to understand. It makes it a choice every day that I do take my meds to try and live my life with in the lines and hope that the promise that by doing so I will be able to build a life that I want in a way that I can't when my mind runs away to the unrealistic in the highs and crashes down into the terrifying darkness of the lows.It is that promise that I am left hoping that it pans out, as that promise is the one that makes the amazingness of the high just less amazing enough to forgo it. That is why I keep taking my meds, even though they get less and less appealing.
until next time dear readers.