A North West View

I am getting sick and tired of having to tire myself to the tether of pills, to have to take pills every day, pills that deaden my emotions.  That take some of the vividness out of the world and the power of my emotions away. Even if the vividness might be on the darker side, anything is better then feeling numb and lifeless inside.  To feel like you have been mummified and are just making the motions to move through the day, to be like a spectator to your own life. Instead I have been recently left with the desire to brake those bonds to no longer have to be tethered to such things, to instead be normal, to no longer have to take pills. To no longer have to deal with side affects like feeling sort of sedated to have my mind and my thoughts slowed down to no longer have to feel slow and dimwitted. To not have to deal with my mind freezing up at times and being left looking like a fool as you stand there in the middle of ex...

I would like to start off by saying that I know with every fiber of my being that God is a part of my life and that he has never left my side and that he never will, of that I have no doubt. I however wonder though what I have done to diserve to be made to be be gay, and that no amount of praying has or ever will change that.  Leaving me to admit deffet and giving up on that change.  A song played over the radio at work the other day, that reminded me of the time in my life when I finaly had to admit failure on my part on being able to change that part of me.  To have to admit that I was not good enough to change that part of me.  That no matter how much I tired and I prayed that I was just not good enogh to be able to change that.  I often wounder what I did and what I have done to doserve to be made gay. Then there is being made to be bipolar, what did I do to deserve this? To diserve to have a surious mental ilness that requires me to take medication for th...

So today I would like to talk about something that might make some people uncomfortable  and is not something that I find the most comfortable topic in the world myself ether, and that topic quite frankly is sex, and sexuality. Yeah that topic that is only supposed to be talked about behind closed doors in whispered voices, not in a forum that is public, even if it is one that to a certain extent is anonymous at the same time. (even though nothing in life even the web is one hundred percent anonymous) However I feel that there is enough anonymity in this particular forum to talk about such a thing and how it pertains to life and especially to myself personally, in an open and honest manor. So with out further adieu I will get started right after the jump.

So recently I realsed that it has now been over two years since my last relationship ended and that in that time I have been in nothing close to a relationahip.  Matter of fact in that two years I have only gone on two dates! I knew that it had been a while since I had been in a relationahip but it did come as a  shock to realise that it had been that long, to tell the truth I think that it is the longest that I have gone since I came out without being in any type of relqtionship.  in that time I can't say that I have not been lonely becuase there have been many times that I have been quiet lonely, yet at the same time I have had no will to actualy seek out a relationship let alone a date.

So this weeks post is going to be shorter then normal because the power supply on my computer gave out, and I am writing this on my tablet. This week I would like to write my review on An Unconventional Courthship, by Scotty Cade. Read more after the jump.

So this Sunday we are going to have a change of gears away from romances, that I have read in the past, to a mystery that I have just finished reading.  I just finished reading Knockdown: A Home Repair Is Homicide Mystery, by Sarah Graves, which is part of her home repair is homicide series of books. Even though I only have read a few of them, I have to admit that I am quite hocked on the series, which wraps home repair information seamlessly into the plot as well as giving small tips under the chapter number for each chapter. I know that it may sound quite odd but it really is very good.

So it is time once again for another Sunday book review, and keeping with the romance novel kick (after all every one has to have their guilty pleasures in life, this being one of the better ones that someone can have) that I have been/was on for the time that I dropped off the face of the blogging world, today I will be reviewing Color Of Grace by A.M. Arthur. Who on a side note is an author that I am quite enamored with. I have come to quite enjoy her writing style and the complexity of her story lines as well as her characters. She leaves me looking forward to reading her next book. Once again A.M. Arthur creates a engrossing read,