Skip to main content

Why Was I Made This Way

I would like to start off by saying that I know with every fiber of my being that God is a part of my life and that he has never left my side and that he never will, of that I have no doubt.

I however wonder though what I have done to diserve to be made to be be gay, and that no amount of praying has or ever will change that.  Leaving me to admit deffet and giving up on that change.  A song played over the radio at work the other day, that reminded me of the time in my life when I finaly had to admit failure on my part on being able to change that part of me.  To have to admit that I was not good enough to change that part of me.  That no matter how much I tired and I prayed that I was just not good enogh to be able to change that.  I often wounder what I did and what I have done to doserve to be made gay.

Then there is being made to be bipolar, what did I do to deserve this? To diserve to have a surious mental ilness that requires me to take medication for the rest of my life, or to if I don't to drive those around me away and hurt those that mean the most to me while my life goes out control.  It seems that nothing I can do will change that, and I feel like there must be something that I have done on this world to diserve such a thing, and that it must be so bad that there is no way that I can ever be forgiven for it.

So I am left woundering what is it that I have done that is so bad, so absolutly wrong that I have been made the way that I have been made.


  1. You have done nothing wrong, you my dear are a perfect model of human. Yes, yes you are!

    Ok, you said you prayed and prayed to not be gay, have you stopped to think that maybe God made you gay? Why would he do that to you? You wont know until you meet him at the gates of heaven, then you may ask. I bet because he knew you were strong enough and brave enough to handle it. Personally, I dont feel that God hates gays, I think he loves us, and made us this way on purpose.

    As for being bi-polar? There's nothing wrong in being bi-polar either, that is a stigma from society, not from God.

    Hold your head up, be proud that you are who you are, a wonderful person, a terrific human, an all around good guy.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Insight Into Myself From Article Together Alone: The Epidemic Of Gay Loneliness

So I recently read this article on The Huffington Post Hightline called Together Alone: The Epidemic Of Gay Loneliness this article is one that I would highly recommend reading.  It is an article that touched me in a significant way.  The article fouces on why even thought the gay community has come a long way in gaining equal rights, it still suffers from high rates of suicide, depression, anxiety and substance abuse.  The article points out that "are between 2 to 10 times more likely then straight people to take their own life. Where twice as likely to have a major depressive episode" And this pattern holds up in countries that where even early adopter to things like gay marriage.  While there virtually no study on the subject in the US in Canada it has been found that more gay men a year die from suicide them they do for HIV/AIDs if those finding are to hold true in the US suicide could be the next major epidemic with in the gay community taking countless number of lives…

When We Rise Review.

I know that I am late to the game on When We Rise on ABC, but I have just finished watching it on demand.  I would say if you have not watched it, it is a must watch.  The series is very well put together, and it gets you wrapped up in it from the very start, and you will want to binge watch the whole series in one sitting, This the cinematography in this series is first rate, and the use of music helps to increase the emotional impact of this series, I have to admit that I teared up multiple times through out the series, as you get so deeply engrossed in what is going on that emotionally you wined up placing yourself into what is going on.  While I wish that they had put in a few more things in the gay rights movement it really dose a very thorough job of showing the fight for equality.  More after the jump.

Looking Back On The Road Traveled

Looking Back On The Road Traveled

Reflecting on where you've been On the hours, days, feet, and miles that have come before Reflecting on the challenges and beauty that lay behind Reminding yourself of all the wonders that lie on the road ahead All the promises, joys, and beauty yet to be beheld In the hours, days, feet, and miles that lie ahead