A North West View

Like the title says I am currently very stressed worried and anxious, to the extreme and for a number of compounding reasons, in which timing is not the best at all.  First off I am not a great waiter and I tend to get inpatient and then anxious worried and panicky when I have to wait, especially when I am left waiting with out much if any control and nothing I can do to make things necessarily come out the way that I want them to come out.

So again I have been keeping an eye on what is out there in the way of places to buy and have started to shift back towards the idea of a condo especially with there being a selection in town that is with in grasp, yet it seems that as things come withing grasp other events threaten to pull them back out of grasp.

Seeing as there is already so much written out there about the Obama administrations decision for the DOJ to stop def fending the Protect Marriage Act, I feel no relay need to write about it.  Instead I am going to write on another subject that is increasingly in the new more and more lately, and that is labor rights and the right to unionize and collectively bargain, a god given right that is increasingly under attack not only by corporations and their super wealthy leaders but by their own elected politicians them selves too, who are increasingly playing a part in doing everything they can do to bust up the unions as well as waging a war against the middle class in this country.

As some of my close friends, and coworkers know, the day before valentine's day was not exactly the best day it could have been, instead it marked one more time, in a string of times that one of my relationships had come to an end with me being dumped painfully out of the blue, leaving me emotionally destroyed like a ship smashed aground on the sharp rock of some sea side cliff.  This being a territory that is not at all unknown to me as only on one occasion has a relationship of mine ended where I have not been dumped by the guy that I was seeing. 

Working retail of course i know that Valentine's day is going to be apon us sooner then we realize, which is why I have been thinking about it quite a bit lately.  I have never been one of the holidays biggest fans, in part because I have almost always been single for it and in other part because it is such an over hyped spectacle.  Even though I'm in a relationship I'm still not jazzed that it's almost here, for one thing both of us work that day (as well as live an hour apart) which just about kills the day from the start.  Then secondly is the outside presure that, that day must be the most over the top romantic day.  Now don't get me wrong I like romantic, and I like being romantic, however forced romance is not something im good at or like.  maybe I'm odd, but when I feel expected and presued to be romantic and show my love is when I find doing so to be hard and unpleasant.  I find that when I'm preoccupied with having to be so, is when im actually  l...

Once again I am trying to get back on the wagon of trying to lose weight, something that I have not had much luck with for a while.  So this time my goal is a more modest 10lbs for the whole year.  This is something that I want to do for one thing to be healthier  and closer to my healthy weight, as well as to improve my appearance.  I am hoping that I will have better luck then any of the other times that I have tried in the recent past, I have set higher goals in the past but this time my goal is 185lbs (with my healthy weight being 165-170)  and right now I am between 195-196.  I have been around this wight for the last couple of years seemingly no matter how much effort I put in which has always caused me to get discouraged and give up in the past. 

I thought I would talk about this topic today as I know it is not something that is exclusive to me but it also seems to be something that no matter how much I try to work on and how many times I think I have dealt with them they always bubble up to the surface.  Most dramatically when in the starting stages of a possible relationship.  It seems that they come out of no where, from the murky depths where reason goes to die, and where rationality rules supreme, a place that is all but impossible to penetrate and thus the ultimate strong hold.