Trying To Get In Shape

Once again I am trying to get back on the wagon of trying to lose weight, something that I have not had much luck with for a while. So this time my goal is a more modest 10lbs for the whole year. This is something that I want to do for one thing to be healthier and closer to my healthy weight, as well as to improve my appearance. I am hoping that I will have better luck then any of the other times that I have tried in the recent past, I have set higher goals in the past but this time my goal is 185lbs (with my healthy weight being 165-170) and right now I am between 195-196. I have been around this wight for the last couple of years seemingly no matter how much effort I put in which has always caused me to get discouraged and give up in the past.

Weight has always been an issue for me, I was much heavier when I was in school, to the point that when I graduated high school I was up in the 250's range. I took me over a year and quite a bit of work and changes to get down to where I currently am. but once I got to this weight progress seems to have stalled and has been at a stand still ever since. So I am trying even harder to eat a more balanced and healthier diet as well as to become even more active. Which at times is proving to be a challenge, with one of the good aspects of my job being that I am able to manage to maintain my current wait with out a lot of extra work do to the physical aspect of my work, and the fact that no matter what I am just about always on my feet and moving around doing something every day when I'm there.

The challenge I have set for my self is to work my self into making even better choices about what I eat and how much of it I eat, as at times portion control has always been an issue for me. As well as recognizing negative behaviors and working to replace them or substitute them with positive ones, like going for a walk, cleaning or doing something physical when I'm feeling upset or board instead of eating. I am also working to include exercise of some kind into my daily schedule and routine and to make it something that I do and that I enjoy on a daily basis. I am not yet to a place where I am or would be comfortable going to a gym (and highly doubt I ever will be) so I am trying to work in doing at least one exercise tape a day and have found that I like moms old Richard Simmons ones, I know how gay could I get but I like the music it's fun keeps you pumped and the positive feed back to motivate is great and for me makes me want to do it.

How ever I am still trying to fine a good sort of strength building and toning routine that I can do at home to help me build my strength, as not only would I like to get in better shape I would like to get stronger too. That I have not yet quite figured out all the way yet.

I hope to threw these help to shape my body into something not only is healthier, better looking and more attractive, but something that I can be proud of and less insecure about, that I will have few faults that I can see and that I feel unhappy about. So that I can feel at home and comfortable in my body no matter what. I hope to make it to a point where I am not uncomfortable and ashamed to take my shirt off, and where I can once again even go swimming, as it has been a long time since I could do that due to the fact that I am totally uncomfortable having my shirt off when any one can see let a lone in public! I hope to keep you all informed with updates as I progress towards my goal and lose some of my extra wight and baggage along the way.

The Temptation Of The High

While being balanced mode wise is something that is good and something that I am glad to be, although I do wish that my medications made me feel less drained like I have been dragging a heavy weight around with me while I do things, in part because my mind seems to be sort of slow and just not totally with it at times leaving it to take a lot of energy to concentrate and get things done and that mental energy also has a physical manifestation as well, and is what tends to make me feel the most drained. while it is good to be balanced it is hard to not want to have a taste of the forbidden fruit that I have been brought down from having a minor taste of and that is to be on the more manic side of things. It is times like this when I know that the meds are keeping me from an amazing natural high, that it is so tempting just to stop taking my medications.

Mental Health Awareness

As some of you may or may not know May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and as such I thought I would write a blog post to try and help do my part to help raise awareness, and end the stigma of mental illness. I also hope to show provide some hope in the process. As many of you already know I have a mental illness, and that is Bipolar Disorder, which I was diagnosed with only relatively recently, about a year ago, although I have had it for a nice chunk of my life. It is something that while I am still just in the beginning stages of starting to understand and control, I don't feel that it is something that I should have to be ashamed of or have to worry about others finding out about it. unfortunately though there is quite a large amount of stigma that surrounds mental illness especially "serious mental illness", which they are for those that suffer from them (and those close to them as well) unfortunately though it also makes it sound scarier t...

The Attacks Start At the Last Minute

With only a week left until ballots mail out in Washington state, Protect Marriage Washington has started airing their first ad in what is doubtless to be a series of ads to run threw the election on Nov 6. as the Seattle times says about this time in the election cycle "for a ballot measure that isn't up on the air now is missing a big opportunity. Ballots mail out next week" and it appears that even though they are late to the race compared to the Approve campaign that has had ads running for months between Washington United for marriage and an ad run by Seattle Pride during the summer Olympics they seem to be coming out of the gate swinging using some of the same old tactics that have proven so effective in the past in scaring the public into voting their way. although this time they seem to have thrown in another tool to their approach ...

A North West View

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