A North West View

I want to share with you one of the things that has the power to make my bouts of depression even worse, which would seem funny as being depressed is not very fun at all as it is.  Now I am not trying to say that I'm horribly depressed right now but I am seeing the clear signs that what has been just a low mode is starting to pick up speed and head down the familiar slope of slipping into a depression.  Now the speed with which

So the white washing has once again come undone, if only one of these days it would stick to the rotten wood that lies beneath it!  I am once again, well that would imply that it ever actually went away, stuck asking my self why me and what I ever did to deserve to be gay, to be punished in such a way?  What did I do that was so bad so wrong that God punished me by making me gay, that I was not strong enough, smart enough, good enough to overcome it?  That instead I buckled under the presser,  damning my self and everything else in the process.   Why was I not strong enough?  WHY? I failed so badly, I just don't know what I did wrong, I don't know what I could have done, and I don't know how to change it, how to make my self normal!! How to change myself so that I can have a normal life, so that I can have everything that I dreamed of having, so that I can be the person I dreamed of being, and the person that I was supposed...

Flower Takes Bloom This really is really a multi-front process in my case with multiple stages of progress, but with each step forward it seems that the mental framing is only strengthened for those areas that are still lagging.  The biggest hurdle seems to simply be getting past the why me and the shame, but instead starting to embrace it. That which used to be a wrong, something that was bad, that should be hidden away, or fit to be ashamed of, it/they become things that instead of flaws are things that make me uniquely me, that they are strengths and as such they are things that I should be proud of that, should not have to be hidden away, but can become just as matter of fact parts of life as waking up in the morning or enjoying a good cup of (decaf) coffee.  It is also the recognition of the fact that if someone thinks lesser of you for what ever it may be, or if they have a problem with it, t...

This is not going to be a long blog, what I am asking is that all my subscribers and visitirs please take the time too watch this video. And then go to the web site sign to pledge and spread the word, we need to make him famous so that he can be brought to justice!  Please do your part! Donate At  https://www.stayclassy.org/checkout/set-donation?eid=14711 Sign The Pledge At  http://www.causes.com/konypledge

This seems to be the sentiment that is more then popping out of the wood work as the debate heats up after the Governor signed the marriage equality bill, now with a Referendum still in the works(the league of women voters is contesting the AG's biased wording) and the Imitative poised to start soon too. (a judge just finished the legal wording for it) To see  these views I don't even have to look further then the opinion column of my local news paper and the comment section on said opinions, With those that oppose gay marriage not only insisting that gay marriage will lead to a slippery slope, that it's bad for the kids, and that it will destroy religion too.  Even more infuriatingly though they are also stating that gay relationships are not real ones at all, as if we are all acting and pretending when we are in a relationship so that we can secretly destroy m...

I have been struggling to try to find an way to even half way put what I am feeling into worlds let alone to describe it in a way that any once else can understand, I have finally decided to just give it a go and pretty much stick with what ever comes out, as it is write, otherwise I will never get it out  and posted.  So please bare with me if things are not quite that clear or they are worded wordlessly. I have been felling so trapped and suffocated lately craving the one thing that I just can't seem to have, the one thing that I want so badly that just is not an option.  I find my self feeling so much like the 3 Doors Down song after the jump.

So I have made some changes to the blog, done some redecorating, some rearranging and added in a few new things, hopefully it makes for a more interesting and engrossing blog, for new comers and especially those of you that are my subscribers.  I really hope that you all enjoy the new look.