I am at a loss on how to deal with the issues that I have when it comes towards my feeling about my self, especially when it comes to my sexuality, what makes it all the more confusing is that the feelings that I hold towards my self and how I feel about being gay when it comes to my self are totally the opposite of my feelings when it comes to other people who are gay. When I say opposite I mean exact polar opposite feelings, and I don't know how to over come my feelings towards my self with the acceptance that I have for others, so that I can actually believe for my self things like what my mom posted on my Facebook wall in reaction to my last blog (which I posted forgetting she had a Facebook since she never uses it) "
So how do you get to the point where the wheels are flying off the your manic high, especially when you are supposedly supposed to be educated on your disorder. For me that is at once a complicated and in ways a simple question. It is complicated because there are so many warning signs to be missed or to be shoved under the rug, and yet so simple because it is rooted in the fact that your brain is saying that everything is fine and there is nothing to worry about, when in fact if you value your mental stability and balance, like I do, there is very much to be worried about. This is not just so abstract question that I ponder in my mind like an artifact displayed in a case at a museum, it is something that is a very real part of my life and something that I am living through at this very moment.