This is the question, unfortunately I don't know that the answer is at all simple, as the secret is one that to reveal I have fear with only make others if not fear me, see me in very badly stigmatized light. As this secret is one that pertains to a subject that is less then embraced with understanding then with stigma of terrible things and personal weakness and failing. A stigma that I don't want to be linked with; yet to not share it means that I keep it bottled under wraps, and in the process fear others knowing or learning about it and feel shame over it that I should not feel and should not have to feel.
It also means that it is very hard to connect with others because I can't actually share of my self, as to do so and to be able to share with them how I feel, why I feel that way and even my fears and even why I fear some of them, because in order to do so they would have to know what the big secret is. So I sit here unsure what to do, and trapped in the cage of my own secret.
It also means that it is very hard to connect with others because I can't actually share of my self, as to do so and to be able to share with them how I feel, why I feel that way and even my fears and even why I fear some of them, because in order to do so they would have to know what the big secret is. So I sit here unsure what to do, and trapped in the cage of my own secret.
Ahh, the whole secret self dilemma. That's where I'm at currently. Do I tell people so as to stop hiding, and risk losing all, or stay silent and keep a wall between everyone else and myself?
ReplyDeleteI really dont have a good answer for you. You could just carefully pick and choose the people you really want to be more open with to share you secret with.
This will, i fear, be an ongoing question for you to wrestle with.
good luck! i'm pulling for you!
I don't know that it is anything like what you face, but I do think you are right on the point that it is going to be a question that I wrestle with for a very long time.
ReplyDeleteThere are times that I wish that this country (and the world at large) had a much better understanding and less negative view on Mental health issues, but unfortunately we don't.