Sorry if I have frightened any of my readers with my expressions of my inner feelings. I am in now way a threat to myself right now. I plan on speaking to my doc on Monday.
I have done a self depression test and fall into the lower rang of moderet-sever which for me is a "not bad" level as I have no self harmful to my self. I just have no interest in anything nor any reall hope about the future. But I still function mostly well I just dont really want to do it, and tend to feel overwhelmed and pissed of much more easily.
But in a strange way even though it is not a great place to be I it is somehow still a comfort too.