Gay marriage or as it should be call marriage is something that is very important to me, and has been since I was little. I have always know that I wanted to get married and to have a family of my own, the only thing that has changed is that as I finally came to terms with the fact that I was gay, a wife became a husband. For me personally I have always wanted to find that person that I love and am meant to spend the rest of my life with. The person that I want to build a family with, the house, kids, minivan the whole nine yards, and a big part of that is marriage.
It is marriage that provides the firm foundation on which a family can be built. It is when you stand in front of all the those in your life (and the world) and promise your life no matter what to the man that you wish to spend the rest of your life with, and they witness this promise. It is cementing something even more firmly then any other promise, it is the ultimate promise that any once can make, the promise to stand by their man, to stand by him in the good times and the bad, when life is plentiful and when it is lean, threw good health and bad, until the very end. To me this is not only a legal promise but more importantly a sacred one two, one that can and should never be taken lightly.
It is the foundation on which to build a life together, as it provides for the ability to provide and protect one another, to insure the ability to care for each other when you are not able to care for your self. To insure that the one that you love is provided for and protected, whether that means being able to put them on your insurance plan at work to insure that they can receive the health care that they need, or to insure that should the unthinkable happen that they are provided for, that they can receive the survivor benefits from your pension and Social Security. To insure that no one can step in and take away from them all that you had built together, that no one can take the home that you had built together away form them. It is with this base of security that a family can be started.
To me marriage is an important base to starting a family because it provides stability and a since of security to the kids that will be brought into it, a since of security that to me just can't be matched by any other means. It also provides for joint care and custody of the kids as well, it means that both parents can make important decisions on behalf of the kids, that if one parent is not able to the other can. That should something horrible happen there would be someone recognized by law and by society left to care for them. It allows for being able to jointly provide for them, and jointly be recognized as the legal parents.
Marriage is not simply an abstract, it is something that is universal understood, it is not some strange kind of contract like civil unions and domestic partnerships. Every one no matter where they are know what it means to be married, unlike domestic partnered if that's what you even call it (to me it sounds more like some sort of business arrangement's then a symbol of a life long commitment) It is something that is recognized from the hospital to the bank, it dose not need any explaining. it is powerful.
When I say I want marriage it is not because I want to change what marriage means, it is because to me what marriage means is extremely powerful and extremely important, it is not a concept that I take lightly. It is something that I value very deeply and that is why to me marriage is so important.
Hello,
ReplyDeleteI am the same Dave you see so often in the comments of Bryan’s GFV blog. This is the first time I’ve seen yours.
I am very much like you in your views toward marriage equality. I personally avoid saying “gay marriage” though because it creates in the minds of some haters the inference of special rights and I don’t want to give those swine any unnecessary ammunition. I also have deleted from my vocabulary the term “traditional marriage” and recommend the rest of us do the same. In its place, I use the term “marriage discrimination” to create the inference of unfairness and bigotry that is at its core. If we’re going to wage a Cultural War, I say let’s not just stay on the defensive; let’s use some offensive weapons to place our opponents off-balance. Use of the term “marriage discrimination” I believe is such an offensive weapon. Do all you can to make your opponent look bad I say.
My motivations toward marriage myself are not religious per se, but they are incredibly profound and sacred to me. And incredibly emotional too. All those issues of rights and benefits are important too, I agree, but that is not what comes first in my heart. It's the ultimate demonstration of my love for my man. It is my declaration in public that this man is the love of my life, the one I have searched for all my life and once feared I would never find and is the one who completes me. To him, in public, I promise to cherish, to comfort, to care for and to love him forever no matter what.
I hope for your sake and any other LGBT Washingtonians that your new marriage equality law survives the attempt by the theocratic freaks in your state to take it away from you.
And, if those bastards succeed, go ahead and have your commitment ceremony if you’ve found your Mr. Right. Go ahead and exchange rings and don’t do it for just ceremonial purposes. In other words, wear those rings and keep wearing them. And even if it has no legal effect, if Mr. Right is your husband in your heart, where it counts the most, give him the honor and the respect of calling him and introducing him as your “husband.” Please don’t use the terminology of your pondscum adversaries. Calling him your “partner” is acquiescing to the crumbs your opponents have thrown you. Never give those despicable people a moment’s satisfaction. You don’t need their permission to call the love of your life your husband and, if they don’t like it, that’s just too damn bad.
Best wishes,
Dave
Thank your for you comment, I totally agree that it should not be called gay marriage but simply marriage as there is nothing different about it and we don't want anything different, we want marry for the same reasons that any one else wants to marry.
DeleteI like your idea of calling "traditional marriage" of one man and one women marriage discrimination, I will have to try and start using that one my self.
I have yet to find that man that I am meant to spend the rest of my life with, but I can assure you whether it is legally recognized or not I will ware that ring and call him my husband. For me there is also a spiritual/religious(I am more spiritual then religious) aspect to it too.
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