Skip to main content

My Appointment, An Update.

Well like I promised I would, I am posting a quick little update blog, so that you (my readers) don't worry too much.  Well yesterday I had my appointment with my pdoc (I like this abbreviation for psychiatrist better then what I have used in the past) I guess it went as well as could be expected all things considered.I I feel that I made a fool and a idiotic spectacle of my self, but I guess that is another thing all together.  Well I am still not sure how I feel about it, but I left the appointment with a new prescription, although I am not sure that is what I really wanted nor if it is what I want. That and an appointment for next week as well, which is something that I do want.   I guess the idea of the new prescription is to try to help level me out and deal with some of the symptoms that have been bothering me the most lately, but I am now not sure now if I really want to do that or not. (I know real decisive of me, then again when I am this way divisiveness is not something I particularly posses)

Things are still rough, and I am still feeling like I am trapped under dark clouds that are not going way, and almost seem to be getting thicker, and I still have not been able to decide if this is better or not even though I found it to be so frustrating, the more hyper side dose seem to be, being calmed, or calmer at the moment, which is nice and not nice at the same time.  I mean while it was nice to get my first full nights (8 straight solid hours) sleep in a good while, and to have my head clear and calmer too then it have been in the last week or so, their is a part of me that misses that even though it was not like it was the pleasant way of those things because they where quite clouded and darkened by the depression that has been and continues to creep into me, it still somehow left me feeling something more alive and living then I feel now.  Which I know sounds funny and stupid probably because it is, after all it is me we are talking about here!(so it being stupid and nonsensical should come as no big shock)

Well before I ramble on to much, and not only boor you all to death but insure that you know how stupid that I really am.  I mean after all the saying goes you can keep your mouth shut and let people think you are stupid or you can open your mouth and leave them no doubt, and I have apparently decided to do the latter, so now is the time to at least cut the losses and say good bey till next time my dear readers. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

It's Past Time To Boycott Motts, And Spread the word.

Some of you may not know this but the workers at Mott's factory in Williamson NY (their only factory) have been forced out on strike, after the company walked away from the bargaining table when the workers refused to accept a new contract that cut wages buy $1.50 an hour while downgrading the medical plan increasing employee medical cost as well as slashing their pension and 401K plans.  Even thought the company recently acquired by Dr. Pepper Snapple, made a profit of $555 million last year as well as increase in stock value of 35%!  To add further insult to injury over the time of "economic hardship" that company is using to justify the wage, pension, 401K cuts and increase in worker health care cost, those in charge of the company proceeded to double their salaries!

The Temptation Of The High

While being balanced mode wise is something that is good and something that I am glad to be, although I do wish that my medications made me feel less drained like I have been dragging a heavy weight around with me while I do things, in part because my mind seems to be sort of slow and just not totally with it at times leaving it to take a lot of energy to concentrate and get things done and that mental energy also has a physical manifestation as well, and is what tends to make me feel the most drained. while it is good to be balanced it is hard to not want to have a taste of the forbidden fruit that I have been brought down from having a minor taste of and that is to be on the more manic side of things.  It is times like this when I know that the meds are keeping me from an amazing natural high, that it is so tempting just to stop taking my medications.

"You Have A Soft Homosexual Voice" Customer

Yes that was one of the things that a customer who took it upon them selves to "preach" to me during my job, while I was stuck helping cut his keys and find the other random items that he said he needed help finding.  Strangely this is not the first time I have attracted the type that decided to do some preaching to me to help "being me to Christ" while I'm on the job and their captive audience stuck helping do something for them, how ever this was one of the first times that I really had to bite my tongue to avoid saying or doing something that I would regret and that could get me in trouble with my bosses.