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My Appointment, An Update.

Well like I promised I would, I am posting a quick little update blog, so that you (my readers) don't worry too much.  Well yesterday I had my appointment with my pdoc (I like this abbreviation for psychiatrist better then what I have used in the past) I guess it went as well as could be expected all things considered.I I feel that I made a fool and a idiotic spectacle of my self, but I guess that is another thing all together.  Well I am still not sure how I feel about it, but I left the appointment with a new prescription, although I am not sure that is what I really wanted nor if it is what I want. That and an appointment for next week as well, which is something that I do want.   I guess the idea of the new prescription is to try to help level me out and deal with some of the symptoms that have been bothering me the most lately, but I am now not sure now if I really want to do that or not. (I know real decisive of me, then again when I am this way divisiveness is not something I particularly posses)

Things are still rough, and I am still feeling like I am trapped under dark clouds that are not going way, and almost seem to be getting thicker, and I still have not been able to decide if this is better or not even though I found it to be so frustrating, the more hyper side dose seem to be, being calmed, or calmer at the moment, which is nice and not nice at the same time.  I mean while it was nice to get my first full nights (8 straight solid hours) sleep in a good while, and to have my head clear and calmer too then it have been in the last week or so, their is a part of me that misses that even though it was not like it was the pleasant way of those things because they where quite clouded and darkened by the depression that has been and continues to creep into me, it still somehow left me feeling something more alive and living then I feel now.  Which I know sounds funny and stupid probably because it is, after all it is me we are talking about here!(so it being stupid and nonsensical should come as no big shock)

Well before I ramble on to much, and not only boor you all to death but insure that you know how stupid that I really am.  I mean after all the saying goes you can keep your mouth shut and let people think you are stupid or you can open your mouth and leave them no doubt, and I have apparently decided to do the latter, so now is the time to at least cut the losses and say good bey till next time my dear readers. 

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