There is a reason that I sort of suddenly dropped out of the picture when it came to the updates on the fight for marriage equality in my state (Washington) which by the way is scheduled to have a committee vote on the legislation, that that state Senate passed last week, this Monday with it coming to a floor vote before the whole house possibly latter in the week. However it is not due to a lack of keen interest and desire to see said legislation implemented into law, but my utter drop off in commentary has much more to do with being sick and tired of reading the articles and especially the comment sections of the article on this issue. As for the articles it always seems that they have to include the usual handful of rabidly anti marriage equality commentators, and well we all know what they have to say on the issue.
Then of course there are the paper comment sections which seem to draw the attention and wrath of the anti marriage equality crowed like moths drawn to a porch light at night. where they not only proceed to spew their wrath but where the utter lack of any willingness to even listen to basic facts too. Which just seems to make me so angry and upset.
I am just sick and tired of having to wade threw pages of both "news" and commentary where I (well not me personally) am called abnormal, not normal, broken, a monster, a sinner, told that for simply even trying to be me I shale burn in hell for eternity. Let alone that I am a sign of national moral decay, a threat to the very fabric of morals but also to the very fabric of the family. That somehow my mere existence is threat enough let alone the possibility of having equal rights, that not only do they have to eradicate that but they have to pray to god to keep it from being and to stop the "curse" that is gays and gay rights, but don't worry We don't "hate you" your just and evil vial thing that should never see the light of day.
Yet I still find my self fighting bouts of uncertainty and doubt about what as best I can describe it god has told me, although with out the direct speaking that some claim to revise. it makes me worry and fear that maybe they are right and that I have been tricked into thinking that it is god that has brought about this understanding and euphony and instead it is the influences of evil that have done so. I know many will think that I am foolish not only for having these sorts of concerns but that I am also foolish for even still having faith and believing at all. Which only seems to make things more complicated and difficult as it seems the faith community is ill prepared to deal with this and the LGBT community see any religious belief as a threat and there for I am to them also an horrible evil person that should not see the light of day either because I struggle with my faith but hold onto it because it is so very important to me! Which only helps to make me feel like an even more confused misfit.
I don't want to end on a down not however because things still look good by a long shot, matter of fact I am very much looking forward to the little trip I am taking the Eugene Oregon for the showing of Depfox's film The Right To Love: An American Family, which I am very excited about, matter of fact I have already gotten the car all cleaned and ready for the trip and have the list of what I need to remember to bring with me typed up and ready to print off. That will be fun and I hope to be making at least a quick YouTube video tomorrow as not only a quick update on how I'm doing but to share how excited I am, and some of the prep for my little trip. (its like a 6 and a half hour drive maybe 7 depending on traffic, so not bad at all, especially when compared to driving cross country)