Trying To Find The Path, And Questions.

This is going to just a quickie blog, and I'm going to start it off with a question I have been toying with the idea of doing a blog entry every day for a month, possibly next month, and would like to know what you my readers think. Would you like to see me post something every day weather it be a long blog or a short little reflection?

So today I have another appointment with my shrink (OK psychiatrist) and have come away with more things to think about and to try to pause and contemplate on to try to understand how I feel at them and possibly why. I can see that some sort of progress is being made yet even that is actually a scary prospect too. It seems that even in the self destructive negativity and the stupid repeating loops that it brings about as crappy as it is, at the same time some how its comforting and less scary then trying to change it. I wounder how I am going to over come the ~~fear~~ sheer terror that comforting and changing these things is going to take.

It seems like such a hard thing, probably because it is, I mean after leaving each appointment I feel like I have be sent threw the was several times over, and I feel so emotionally worked up and drained like I have been to battle, a battle that I still seem to ill understand. A battle where even fighting it in what are the best ways out there seems to feel like a form of defeat. I wounder when these battles while cease to be battles and I can put them behind me.

I am also starting to wounder how to bring order to my life, some sort of stability in routine with a schedule that is anything but stable and is anything but conducive to a stable consistent routine day in and day out. As it increasingly seems like that might help weed out so many issues and make it at least that much easier to deal with others.

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The Temptation Of The High

While being balanced mode wise is something that is good and something that I am glad to be, although I do wish that my medications made me feel less drained like I have been dragging a heavy weight around with me while I do things, in part because my mind seems to be sort of slow and just not totally with it at times leaving it to take a lot of energy to concentrate and get things done and that mental energy also has a physical manifestation as well, and is what tends to make me feel the most drained. while it is good to be balanced it is hard to not want to have a taste of the forbidden fruit that I have been brought down from having a minor taste of and that is to be on the more manic side of things. It is times like this when I know that the meds are keeping me from an amazing natural high, that it is so tempting just to stop taking my medications.

Mental Health Awareness

As some of you may or may not know May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and as such I thought I would write a blog post to try and help do my part to help raise awareness, and end the stigma of mental illness. I also hope to show provide some hope in the process. As many of you already know I have a mental illness, and that is Bipolar Disorder, which I was diagnosed with only relatively recently, about a year ago, although I have had it for a nice chunk of my life. It is something that while I am still just in the beginning stages of starting to understand and control, I don't feel that it is something that I should have to be ashamed of or have to worry about others finding out about it. unfortunately though there is quite a large amount of stigma that surrounds mental illness especially "serious mental illness", which they are for those that suffer from them (and those close to them as well) unfortunately though it also makes it sound scarier t...

The Attacks Start At the Last Minute

With only a week left until ballots mail out in Washington state, Protect Marriage Washington has started airing their first ad in what is doubtless to be a series of ads to run threw the election on Nov 6. as the Seattle times says about this time in the election cycle "for a ballot measure that isn't up on the air now is missing a big opportunity. Ballots mail out next week" and it appears that even though they are late to the race compared to the Approve campaign that has had ads running for months between Washington United for marriage and an ad run by Seattle Pride during the summer Olympics they seem to be coming out of the gate swinging using some of the same old tactics that have proven so effective in the past in scaring the public into voting their way. although this time they seem to have thrown in another tool to their approach ...

A North West View

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