I find that I'm asking my self these very questions all the time, yet it is a question that I still don't seem to know the answer to. I feel so lost and often even trapped in my own mind, like some times I am watching a movie so detached from it rather then actually living my life, so detached that at times when I ask these questions and start to analyze then it is like in analyzing who some one else is then really dealing with my self. I find this to be one of the most frustrating feelings I know, as it leads me to feel lost and like I an some how not me but that some one else who is just watching a movie about some one else life a great chunk of the time. I know that this probably sounds totally off the deep-end crazy yet it is a feeling that I have know for a good chunk of my life now. Even know it feels as if their is a disconnect as I am writing this.
I think the best way to describe it is I feel almost like an animal trapped in a cage like at a zoo, there are things that make it feel like the right habitat and that make since, and then their are lots of things that don't and I know that it's a cage and that it is not right, yet I don't know why it is or what is not quite right. It is quite hard to explain because of the fact that I don't understand it my self, yet I still know and can feel so incredibly deeply that things are not right, that it almost literally haunts me.
I could really use some help with this.
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