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Suburban Dreaming

With the fact that I accepted the sellers counter offer today, I thought that I would post and share some of the myriad of thoughts that have been mixing and mingling in my mine of late.  As those of you that have been fallowing along will know by now, the place that I am buying is in a little suburban development in an area outside of the city that I work and currently reside in, something that I am quite happy with at for me it is allowing my to buy into my own little piece of the suburban American dream, which for me is a standalone single family home on a quarter acer lot.  Which for me is part of the essence of the american dream, and one of the big blocks that is part of building a life.  Now as some of you may also know I have been wondering about if I will ever be able to build the other part of that life and that is a family of my own to fully fulfill my suburban American dream of a husband and kids.

It seems even if I where to forgo the ever so apparent marks against my looks with in the gay community, that already so few people especially those around my age want to live outside of a major urban center, let alone a suburban setting outside of a not major at all city.  It seems that those my age would rather live in a hip loft in the center of all the clubbing action then to live in the peaceful suburbs where they can spread out and plant some roots of their own.  I know that some are going to say that even though I was not born in the 50's that I must have taken two doses of the 50's as I talk about the way I want to live my life, and I can handle that, but to me it is the only way that I have ever really wanted to live it.To me the suburban life is the life I have always wanted to live, I have always wanted my own little piece of the pie where I can have some land an nice house and be able to spread out and plant some roots both figuratively and literally.  To be able to enjoy the quite and privacy that is really only possible with suburban living, the perfect place to build a life and a family.  To me there is nothing more in life that I would like more then to be able to come home to my own house, to be able to spend my free time doing home improvements to have a yard to work in and to be able to have BBQ's and little parties in, to be able to some day play ball with the kids, and throw the ball around for the dog in. To do all the big and little things that it takes to keep a home running.  

Yet it seems that the other young people today, especially my age, and even more so gay people my age (including the press that loves covering their trends) want nothing to due with suburban life let alone some one that actively craves it and seeks it out as their desired way of living. They seem to all want to get away from that and even life in a smalish mid sized city in favor of the highly urban life of major metorpolitian citys like Seattle instead.  That they would rather be in the middle of all the noise croweds, densitiy crime and action instead.  Living in small partments and lofts cramed in like sardines with their nighbors, free to party and they seem to not want to ever forgo this life style.  Unfortanitly it seems that this is a growing and more perment trend if one is to bealve what they read from the media whose epxperts all but seem to predict that this genration wants nothing and will want nothing to do with the suburban dream and suburban living but insted seek to live in the hart of the city, of the clubs and parties, in short in the hart of everything that is not me and that is totaly unnurtering and enviroment to raise a futuer family in, yet this is what the trend readers predict as the future and curant dissires for those of my generation.  Even more wories some is that this prodicted trend seems to be holding even more true among the gay's of my genration.

I know that a good part of me hopes that this so called trend is all overblowen by overpayed futuercasters who realy have no clue what they are talking about, and that I am just personaly ahead of the curve and as I get older more guys my age will start to view the suburban life as a valuble and disirable way of life and start to therefore view my part of it as something good. I don't know if this is just bline hope fulled by the fact that I simply don't understand how so many can so easily turn their backs on what I have always so deeply wanted and the kind of life and for a kind of life and living that I simply can never imagen being a part of.


  1. Well, first off you have to look at who is writing these news articles? Are they from the gay press? If not, then think carefully about what their motives might be in portraying gay men in this way. They are making gays seem shallow and frivolous and only out for one thing, to party.

    Im not sure if i chatty with a more mature type of blogger, or if what im seeing is more of the norm than the press is painting. But most of the people I chat with, or email with, only seem to want one thing. A nice guy to settle down with. None of them are into the party life style. A few go out and drink with friends from time to time, but that really is a whole different thing.

    So, take the whole idea of gays only want to party their asses off in a large city with no thought of the future. Yes, I know, there is always some truth behind any stereotype, there has to be for it to work. But that doesn't mean its has to be the norm.

    So, stop worrying about what you read, and get out there and live your life, ok?

  2. It's not just young gay people that the media say want nothing to do with the suburbs (and by extension any one that wants something to do with it) but people of my generation in general. Apparently they don't want to live in the suburbs or ever be away from the hip party spot city neighborhoods.


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