Skip to main content

What's Wrong, And How Do I Make It Stop

I really am having trouble handling anything lately and it's not getting any better, I really am getting to the point that I want to just give up on every thing that I'm doing and supposed to be doing to try to help me live the normal balanced life that I really do want to get back/or too!  It really is getting to the point that doing what needs to be done simply to take care of my self normally let alone the things that are now required as part of the medical process to try to help get me to the life that I want are getting to be to hard to deal with. 

I really just don't want to do any of it, I just want to stop it all I don't want to deal with any thing, I don't want to deal with life as its all to much to deal with.  I can't hardly bring my self to leave the house unless I am forced to, because to do so is almost to much to deal at good chunks of the time, let alone if one thing goes not quite right then I just about go into an emotional meltdown.  I don't know what is wrong any more, I don't know what to do, because I can't do anything, the thought of doing anything is to much, let alone trying to do anything.

I feel I really am at the mercy of God, and I fear that I don't have the inner strength that it will take any more to get threw this, to get threw it with out having things fall apart and my life finally go to pieces before my eyes.  I pray that I pull threw this one too with out it coming to that as I have so much that having such things happen would totally destroyed.  Yet I am not confident about the out come being the way I would so desperately like it to be.  

as always thank you for reading, and comments are always welcome, and appreciated.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Word Verification.

As some of you will soon start noticing I have started to use word verification in order for comments to be posted, unfortunately I had a spat of spam comments occur and I don't want to have to waist my time removing spam comments. So to help and combat the problem I have been forced to intorduce word verification into the commenting procsses.  I hope that doing so dose not discurage you guys (my readers) from posting your comments as I truly do value getting to hear your prospectives on things and talk with all of you. Untill next time dear readers. 

Financially Incapable, Money Is The Problem

Being able to control one’s own finances is one of the important parts of being able to be a independent adult, and is something that is supposed to come along with being one as well.  It means being able to live within a budget and spending one's money wisely within that budget.  It also means having a realistic idea about what your income is and how much money you have to spend and being able to weigh that against financial decisions and the merits of purchases that one wishes to make keeping in mind the required purchase that one has to make and the cost of them.   Which is why the realization that I seem to be utterly incapable of controlling my finances is coming as such a blow,

The Temptation Of The High

While being balanced mode wise is something that is good and something that I am glad to be, although I do wish that my medications made me feel less drained like I have been dragging a heavy weight around with me while I do things, in part because my mind seems to be sort of slow and just not totally with it at times leaving it to take a lot of energy to concentrate and get things done and that mental energy also has a physical manifestation as well, and is what tends to make me feel the most drained. while it is good to be balanced it is hard to not want to have a taste of the forbidden fruit that I have been brought down from having a minor taste of and that is to be on the more manic side of things.  It is times like this when I know that the meds are keeping me from an amazing natural high, that it is so tempting just to stop taking my medications.