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What's Wrong, And How Do I Make It Stop

I really am having trouble handling anything lately and it's not getting any better, I really am getting to the point that I want to just give up on every thing that I'm doing and supposed to be doing to try to help me live the normal balanced life that I really do want to get back/or too!  It really is getting to the point that doing what needs to be done simply to take care of my self normally let alone the things that are now required as part of the medical process to try to help get me to the life that I want are getting to be to hard to deal with. 

I really just don't want to do any of it, I just want to stop it all I don't want to deal with any thing, I don't want to deal with life as its all to much to deal with.  I can't hardly bring my self to leave the house unless I am forced to, because to do so is almost to much to deal at good chunks of the time, let alone if one thing goes not quite right then I just about go into an emotional meltdown.  I don't know what is wrong any more, I don't know what to do, because I can't do anything, the thought of doing anything is to much, let alone trying to do anything.

I feel I really am at the mercy of God, and I fear that I don't have the inner strength that it will take any more to get threw this, to get threw it with out having things fall apart and my life finally go to pieces before my eyes.  I pray that I pull threw this one too with out it coming to that as I have so much that having such things happen would totally destroyed.  Yet I am not confident about the out come being the way I would so desperately like it to be.  

as always thank you for reading, and comments are always welcome, and appreciated.
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