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Emotional Masks And Masculinity

I was looking threw Queerty today and ran across a this little pic article which in it's self is very cute, but one of the comment is what caught my attention.  That comment was that basically in our society boys are taught not to show their emotions and most specifically ones what could be seen as weak.  The comment brought up the idea that if in our society we could move away for the idea that a man is weak for experiencing and freely expressing his emotions not only would men as a whole be mentally and psychological healthier but the society as a whole would be heather and much more peaceful.  This idea has kind of struck me.

I find it a very interesting idea to think about because it is something that I can look at my self and see that it has had an effect.  As I have said before in this blog when I was much younger I used to be a very emotional child, until I stated to get teased over that over not being tough and masculine enough.  At which point I started to hid my emotions.  Then as I got older and those around me began to question my sexuality based on not only my manorisms that I changed but my emotionality and sensitivity I really increased my efforts to control my emotions and preventing others for seeing any of them easily if I was hurt and up set.  I got to the point that I was so good at shoving my hurt and pain down and keeping my self from allowing it out and showing any signs of weakness that I stopped crying even when my grandfather died, or my grandma or my uncle It had gotten to the point where I literally could not cry even if I had wanted to.   

That ability if that's what you want to call it dose have it's down side instead of allowing a release of emotional energy that should be happening it gets pint up, and ether builds till one reaches a point where they have an emotional snap.  The snap which for me since I really can't at all express or process sadness/hurt/pain within myself  almost always involves an outburst of anger for no reason at all, and an out burst that has so much emotional force behind it that it's many times disproportionate to what ever it is that set it off.  It is only after those extremely rare occasion that I may be able to actuly break down and actually cry to let out all that built up emotional pain and energy that should have been released when the events that created it happened but instead never was because of the wonderful masking abilities I was able master.

I think that it's a shame that in this day and age that we still teach our children that to be a real man that they need to hide their emotions that they need to feel shamed for feeling sadden by things that make them sad and for showing the human emotions that come with being sad. Or of the showing the human emotions that come with living life, that they need to be some sort of stoic creation of Victorian fiction is a shame on to its self.  I also think that as the gay rights movement and the gay community on being more intertwined and inclusive with the straight community, so that they are more comfortable and so that the idea of what is masculine and what is not can change, as this idea of masculinity really dose have to change in order for society as a whole to progress.

As always thank you for reading and comment and feed back are always welcome.


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