Skip to main content

A Snapshot Of my Soul

So today's post is going to be just very brief as I should be trying to get to bed (although I don't know how successful that is going to be) but I think for today I'm just going to try to capture a quick "snapshot" of my soul, so hear goes  nothing, ironically at the moment quite the appropriate line as for as many things that seem to be running threw my head and as freaking restless as I seem to be I am also overpowered by the feeling of not caring about anything let alone caring about my self or anything that happens to me or about my life or living it in general. Yet I still fined that just about everything even just the simple act of writing this to be just about emotionally overwhelming yet not writing it is just about as emotionally overwhelming too.
I just feel that I have so many things at times to get out but then I also at the same time now don't care I don't feel that they are worth anything let alone that I'm worth a damn thing, I feel like a broken item that just needs to be tossed out but that no one has yet had the decency to actually toss in the trash.  I that things where different, I wish that I where not me I wish that I could get off of this ride, i hate this ride, with emotional states that no one understands,  I hate people asking how I am and then not understanding,  when I tell them.    I want to flee I want to be busy and I want to disappear and to a black hole at the same time, I feel like crying yet can't. I just wish it would all end, I wish that this ride would end, I am so tired of it, I am tired of it, I know it will pass to another emotional state for a while god only know how long but I don't think this ride is ever going to end any more, I really don't.  I think I am going to be stuck on it until I finally lose it, because I know way deep down its only a matter of time no matter how much I don't want it to be. 

I have to go, sorry about this post, as always thank you and comments are welcome.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Insight Into Myself From Article Together Alone: The Epidemic Of Gay Loneliness

So I recently read this article on The Huffington Post Hightline called Together Alone: The Epidemic Of Gay Loneliness this article is one that I would highly recommend reading.  It is an article that touched me in a significant way.  The article fouces on why even thought the gay community has come a long way in gaining equal rights, it still suffers from high rates of suicide, depression, anxiety and substance abuse.  The article points out that "are between 2 to 10 times more likely then straight people to take their own life. Where twice as likely to have a major depressive episode" And this pattern holds up in countries that where even early adopter to things like gay marriage.  While there virtually no study on the subject in the US in Canada it has been found that more gay men a year die from suicide them they do for HIV/AIDs if those finding are to hold true in the US suicide could be the next major epidemic with in the gay community taking countless number of lives…

When We Rise Review.

I know that I am late to the game on When We Rise on ABC, but I have just finished watching it on demand.  I would say if you have not watched it, it is a must watch.  The series is very well put together, and it gets you wrapped up in it from the very start, and you will want to binge watch the whole series in one sitting, This the cinematography in this series is first rate, and the use of music helps to increase the emotional impact of this series, I have to admit that I teared up multiple times through out the series, as you get so deeply engrossed in what is going on that emotionally you wined up placing yourself into what is going on.  While I wish that they had put in a few more things in the gay rights movement it really dose a very thorough job of showing the fight for equality.  More after the jump.

Time For Giving Trump A Chance Is Gone

The time to give Trump another chance has long passed, it passed way before election day. Yet there are those out there that say now that he has been elected it is time to give him another one.  They say that because after the election he has done some “good talking” by saying that he wants to be a president for “all Americans” but that is just talk, if you look at the people that he is putting in charge of his transition team, and the people that are in the front running for his cabinet positions, you will see that he has no interest in being a president for all people. He only has an interest in being the kind of president for the kind of people that he spent the last year and half telling us that he wanted to be on the campaign trail.  He is not putting people into positions of power that have any interest in uniting the country and insuring that all Americans are represented, instead he is putting extremist politicians and lobbyist in charge of his transition team, assigning them…