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A Snapshot Of my Soul

So today's post is going to be just very brief as I should be trying to get to bed (although I don't know how successful that is going to be) but I think for today I'm just going to try to capture a quick "snapshot" of my soul, so hear goes  nothing, ironically at the moment quite the appropriate line as for as many things that seem to be running threw my head and as freaking restless as I seem to be I am also overpowered by the feeling of not caring about anything let alone caring about my self or anything that happens to me or about my life or living it in general. Yet I still fined that just about everything even just the simple act of writing this to be just about emotionally overwhelming yet not writing it is just about as emotionally overwhelming too.
I just feel that I have so many things at times to get out but then I also at the same time now don't care I don't feel that they are worth anything let alone that I'm worth a damn thing, I feel like a broken item that just needs to be tossed out but that no one has yet had the decency to actually toss in the trash.  I that things where different, I wish that I where not me I wish that I could get off of this ride, i hate this ride, with emotional states that no one understands,  I hate people asking how I am and then not understanding,  when I tell them.    I want to flee I want to be busy and I want to disappear and to a black hole at the same time, I feel like crying yet can't. I just wish it would all end, I wish that this ride would end, I am so tired of it, I am tired of it, I know it will pass to another emotional state for a while god only know how long but I don't think this ride is ever going to end any more, I really don't.  I think I am going to be stuck on it until I finally lose it, because I know way deep down its only a matter of time no matter how much I don't want it to be. 

I have to go, sorry about this post, as always thank you and comments are welcome.


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