I just feel that I have so many things at times to get out but then I also at the same time now don't care I don't feel that they are worth anything let alone that I'm worth a damn thing, I feel like a broken item that just needs to be tossed out but that no one has yet had the decency to actually toss in the trash. I that things where different, I wish that I where not me I wish that I could get off of this ride, i hate this ride, with emotional states that no one understands, I hate people asking how I am and then not understanding, when I tell them. I want to flee I want to be busy and I want to disappear and to a black hole at the same time, I feel like crying yet can't. I just wish it would all end, I wish that this ride would end, I am so tired of it, I am tired of it, I know it will pass to another emotional state for a while god only know how long but I don't think this ride is ever going to end any more, I really don't. I think I am going to be stuck on it until I finally lose it, because I know way deep down its only a matter of time no matter how much I don't want it to be.
I have to go, sorry about this post, as always thank you and comments are welcome.