Again just letting you all know that I have not disappeared, but things for me are not going well right now. I am basically going from one emotional extreme to the other very rapidly lately especially even more so over the last couple of days including today. The last few hours have been the worst as I have been stuck in one of my oh so FUN FUN mixed happy depressed states. I don't know when I will be posting anything of substance, but I will try to keep you informed. But at the moment all I want is to actually be a normal functional person, but unfortunately that seems to much to ask of the powers that be, as they seem to want me to curse me with an being in an emotional out of control state where I go crashing from moment to moment at the drop of a hat form one extreme to another with good amounts of rage thrown in for good measure.
So how do you get to the point where the wheels are flying off the your manic high, especially when you are supposedly supposed to be educated on your disorder. For me that is at once a complicated and in ways a simple question. It is complicated because there are so many warning signs to be missed or to be shoved under the rug, and yet so simple because it is rooted in the fact that your brain is saying that everything is fine and there is nothing to worry about, when in fact if you value your mental stability and balance, like I do, there is very much to be worried about. This is not just so abstract question that I ponder in my mind like an artifact displayed in a case at a museum, it is something that is a very real part of my life and something that I am living through at this very moment.