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All Graveyards & No play Makes Me A Dull Boy

Ok so from politics back to me, because well I don't feel like talking about politics today but I do feel like talking about me.  So at the moment and for the last 6 months I have been stuck working grave yards at work, which for me is 10pm till 6:30am. Unfortunately I did not wind up on this shift because I particularly wanted it, I wound up on it because at the time I was told point blank you can ether switch from your current switch (which had been closings 2pm-11pm) and be granted at least 24 hours a week, which is the minimum to qualify for insurance or you can keep your current shift/full daytime availability and not be guarantied any hours at all, and thus no insurance.  Obviously I made the decision to switch, to only find out that basically what had been presented me was not the reality of the situation as there are still enough hours during the day and hours getting cut from grave yards to cover day for minims to  maintaining peoples insurance coverage. Unfortunately this schedule has not helped my quality of life, nor my happiness with my life out at all.

Unfortunately since I have started this shift it has obviously created a situation where my wake sleep schedule is so opposite of every thing that my whole life now is basically work, and that is about the extent of it.  As now I wake up at 8pm to start my day to start getting ready to work, (to get breakfast, make lunch for when I'm at work) then work, I then go to bed at around 2 in the afternoon.  Which means socially by the time any friends are up and actually ready to do things I only have a few hours before I have to be going to bed so that I am rested to go to work. The reality of the schedule also means that by the time that most of the year even now that it's finally light enough to just go outside and enjoy a park or something even by your self, I don't have much time before I have to be going to be, so as a consequence I wind up spending most every day after work a shut in in my own house.  Where as before when I worked during the day whether it be openings closing or midis I would and did do things and go out before or after work because, socially people where up and available and places where open, and the sun was out!  Now even on my days off I don't get out, hardly at all as in order to keep from getting screwed up on my sleep wake cycle severely (which dose not help my mood disorder) I have to keep my same sleep schedule, so I wind up spending my days off alone up all night with nothing to do stuck at home, then with a short few hour window during the day when if I'm lucky one of my friends might be available to do something.    

It's to the point that I will get dressed in my nice not work cloths and watch and that then do up my hair and seriously think "whats the point no ones going to see me" and if they do its the last 4 hours of my day so its like "yeah my hair and cloths may be nice but I have bags under my eyes I'm white as a sheet of pater cause I don't get any sun anymore, so what kind of impressions is that" but most of all it dose not really matter as I don't get to get out and have any fun, I have not been to a movie in forever because last time I went to see one it was the first showing of the day and when it got out it was 2 hours past when I needed to get to sleep to keep myself on a steady sleep schedule, And to be honest I don't like to go place alone at night so I have not bothered to try to go see a late night showing of a move not that the options where I live are particularly large. It has gotten to the point that this shift not the work (I love the work, I love working hard, and I love the people I work with) but the shift have me on the verge of burning out because, I can't get the balance outside of work in.

That is why when I heard there was a potion opening in another department for a closer/mids day shift I applied for it, and cross my fingers I hope to get it, as I know I can do very well at it, as I love the hard work and I so miss helping the customers too. Not to mention being back onto such normal shifts will be so much better for me too!


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