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How You See Your Self In The Mirror


So for today's post I am going to tackle the subject of body image, something that almost every one, including my self, whether they admit it or not have some issues or have had issues with.  Body image is literally how one sees them self when they look at them selves in the mirror (or in general) It is how they feel about their own looks and quite often a larger extension about how they feel about them selves.



Body image can be a tricky issue, as for the most part it is ones own evaluation of their own looks.  Their evaluation is based on many things including how they feel they fit what is attractive, how they feel about them selves, what they believe that others have said to them about their body and their looks in the past, and over riding that all how they feel about them selves over all.

I know in this day and age I am in a very large majority of men with body image dissatisfactions, and for that matter men and women with body image dissatisfactions as it seems that you can no longer throw a stone with out hitting some one with such an issue.

I know for me that my biggest demon is my weight.  For me I have always been on the heavy side, and of course I have always been ribbed, and made fun off all the time I was growing up for being fat. As a result of that I had been always trying to lose weight on and off over the years and not succeeding, to the tune of by the time I graduated high school I hit my highest weight of 255lbs with a 44" wast. (at 6')




Well It was not till after I graduated HS, which is where I had managed to put a large amount of the weight on, did I actually start to lose some of it, to the tune of now 4 years latter being steady at about 55lbs lighter.  Which even thought it is better then what it was is still 30 lbs over what my goal weight is of 165 which puts me squarely at the ideal healthy weight for my height. 

How like most people its never as easy as just being and extra X# of lbs, but to not look like the freaking good year blimp would great.  They other part is that of the lack of good muscle tone and well definition my arms and well the rest of the good year blimp of a body.  Add to that are the not particularly attractive stocky legs (that are mostly actually muscle, but not the attractive more longish looking type leg)

I know some will say its just a matter of how you look at it, however when you get told all the time if you lose some more weight then you will be looking good and be able to get a date its abundantly clear that, my self evaluation is not that far off.  How ever it still dose hurt when people give the back handed complement of "it looks like you have lost some weight, loss some more and you will be very attractive".  I already know I'm a blimp of a person but I mean seriously when complementing some one on losing weight why not just leave it at that, why remind them that you are an unattractive pile? 




I guess it because of my own insecurities about my looks, and my own dissatisfactions with them, that I do not negatively comment on people appearance.  As people do not need that one extra little thing to have in the back of their mind to pop up to go, ha gee you look less then attractive, when they look at them selves in the mirror.  People have enough of that already from the media and the world at large with out their friends coworkers and acquaintance adding to it.

Comments

  1. Life can be full of so much garbage as it is, it seems horrible that we heap this upon ourselves as well.

    In the end it never matters how many nice compliments we get because we have already recieved so many negative ones and all the positive reinforcement by our friends and family just bounces off of us then.

    I hope you find that place of appreciating yourself or at least a sceasefire of somekind.
    be kind to yourself...life is hard enough without kicking ourselves in the ass too.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't know, logically know it's something I have to work on, but so much of it seems to have something to do with illogical thing that I don't know where it comes from.

    ReplyDelete

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